polaroids

To you, my friend!

Happy Birthday, pixel!

Welcome back, Mina!

I made it through an entire week without internet access and without even booting my computer at all! It felt like a vacation. I recommend trying it yourself one time.
A lot has happened the last week. I moved to a different apartment (which already feels and looks like home - moving didn't suck that much after all), my Grandpa turned 75, I went to see my first soccer game (and really enjoyed it, although my favourite team, FC St. Pauli, played as bad as usual) and the little, angry man declared war on Iraq.
Needless to say, the whole war issue makes me sick to my stomach. And if you ask me, the only bomb that should be dropped is the one on Mr. *no, i really didn't do it because I like war and want to control the entire world universe* Bush.
And that's all I have to say to that.

Anyway, it feels really good to be back. Although I enjoyed my week without the web I really missed reading my daily blogs (thanks for sharing all the details about your socks with us, Joshua), chatting with pixel and Yogi, checking my emails,...
... to make it short, one week without is good, 10 days are okay; but longer than that? I don't even want to think about it!

no internet

I am finally moving tomorrow. And I might not have internet acceess for a few days. I feel like I am taking part in an experiment ('How will she deal with withdrawals?' 'How will she spend her time now?').
I might write down my post on paper and add them as soon as I have access again.
Take care, my friends, have some lovely days!

GNE is back!

For only 24 hours my favourite time-consuming game is back online! Thanks to everyone at Ludicorp!!
You know, we love you in an entirely non-creepy way.

Okay, watch me play for as long as I can stay awake now! Gotta go!

back in time

Sunday! Lazy Sunday. And it's definitely a *No-way-I-am-leaving-the-house* weather. Makes me wanna watch my favourite movies and shows from my childhood.
Meet Barbapapa again (you usually only see colours and shapes like that if you under some serious influence of drugs). Be fascinated (and scared of at the same time) by Pan Tau.
Have another crush on Kalle Blomkvist or run away with Silas.
But the best would be to watch every single episode of Die Märchenbraut.

moving

Moving sucks! Especially when you have to move out off your all-time favourite apartment into a smaller one because you're just too fucking stupid to find jobs or new clients. So, I started packing my stuff and with every single cup I'm putting in that box my heart screams NO!

Excuse me while I go and hit my head against the wall now... once...twice...

music

If you ever read The Adventures of Tom Bombadil by J.R.R. Tolkien I recommend listening to this song afterwards. Don't do it the other way around or you'll find yourself singing along ("Hey! Come derry-dol, merry-dol, my darling!") while reading the poem, although the actual verses are a little different.
And wooo! what are the folks at Amazon thinking?! $350.00?! I got mine for less than a dollar at a fleamarket. Don't you dare paying that much money! Maybe I have a different version, but it has 144 pages and the publisher is the same and... must have been my lucky day.

In other news, my playlist project is evolving. Thanks, capo!
If you feel like sharing your playlist with the world let me know. It's up to you if you want to provide mp3s for download or if you prefer a plain track list.

no adventures!

While horseback-riding in the forest today I had this brief moment of feeling like being in Middle-Earth. And I got all exicted - ready for some adventures! But I realized there were no Nazguls to fight. And although I would have never won any fight at all or even survived one (considering the life I'm living) I suddenly felt disappointed.
That feeling didn't last long though. And after all, we should be glad we don't have to fight any terrifying Ringwraiths or monsters, right? Right?

UPDATE
Thanks to Yogi I finally have my 28 photographs online!

*we*

Have you ever noticed that some people seem to lose track of their own existence as soon as they enter a relationship?
For my birthday a friend of mine called me. I was really surprised because I haven't talked to him in a long time and it felt good to hear his voice again. But one of the first things he said was "*We* just want to wish you a happy birthday" Silence. "A. and I" And I'm like oh! his girlfriend, right! I met her once for ten minutes and that was probably two years ago. I remember I liked her. But I doubt that we would recognize each other if we meet on the streets again. So I'm saying "thanks" thinking "yay, I kinda remember that it feels good to say *we* but don't you think it is a little out off place here?!" But it's a short phone call because I'm in the middle of cooking, opening bottles and answering questions (I'm always late when it comes to party preparations) and I don't wanna get started on the *we-issue*.
Two of my best friends recently got together and they are doing the same thing ("Honey! Look! There's the commercial *we* like so much." and "No, *we* are not drinking shots anymore."). But they mostly do it because they know how annoying I think it is. We totally agreed on that back when we three were singles.
And honestly, if I hear another guy saying "*We* are pregnant." I might just start screaming.

smoke

I smoke as you probably know. And I prefer to roll my own cigarettes, just because I like it. And of course it's a lot cheaper. So I enjoy it even more. I also smoke regular cigarettes but it's more a matter of *it's late, I ran out off tobacco, stores aren't open now, I better find some change for one of the cigarette machines on my street*.
My favourite has always been Javaanse Jongens mild. Fine tobacco and a great sense of humor when it comes to advertising stuff. For a short time the shag was sold in tin boxes and one of them had a drawing of the two guys and a crocodile on it and went something like:
Smokers are evil, and evil people get bitten by the crocodile.
And I am thinking, okay, what else did you smoke when you printed that on the box? Needless to say I loved it.
So today I bought a new pack, opened it and saw a new inside printing starting with the headline *rolling your cigarettes saves you money*. Okay! Thanks for telling me. I've never would have noticed without your help! So, I keep reading, still waiting for it to turn out to be funny. But it isn't! They actually tell you how much you'll save smoking their tobacco. It ends with a *So, what do you do with all the money?* and a stupid drawing of a guy and his money.
Maybe I'm just not getting it. Maybe I missed the joke here. Maybe you can really tell how bad your economy is when the creative ones lose their sense of humor in favour for a plain calculation.
Well, there's still the fine tobacco left to enjoy. I just hope they won't print it on a tin box.

plastic and wood

Personality tests surround us - on the web, in magazines, in our every day lives. We are constantly judged by others - we constantly judge others (call it categorize if you don't like the word *judge*). Yes-no , love-hate, black-white oh, and not to forget maybe, like, gray.
I've noticed that I do the same in terms of *plastic and wood*. Yes, I know this sounds strange, let me try to explain (in a totally black-or-white way).
A wood person enjoys classical music, nice food, dinner parties, intellectual conversations, French movies. Being what I call plastic you like vegging out in front of the TV, getting lost in details, you forget time constantly and you drink coke. Of course there's more but I think you are getting what I am trying to say already, right?
Keep in mind that I am exaggerating here. I've never met a person who is all wood or plastic by my definition. It's more a matter of being mostly one or the other. And I like both, I am friends with both, I appreciate both!
What always annoys me are wannabe-one-or-the-other. And I have to say, I mostly met wannabe-wood persons. Probably because according to my definitions wood is what society calls good, valuable and how you should be.
Let me give you an example:
I was invited for dinner at a friend's house a few weeks ago. The food was excellent (vegetarian, of course) and so was the wine. Including me we were four people at the table. And despite of the very comfortable surrounding (food, wine, candlelight) I felt uncomfortable. While I was questioning myself whether I was too impatient or too stupid to listen to their long, eloquent but meaningless conversation that friend of mine passed around some pictures she took on her vacation to France. The two girls were discussing how great this one picture was because of the contrast of the stone wall and the plastic tray sitting on it and how the slightly diagonally placed tea pot showed nature's power over things created by humans. And that's where my mind totally went off to its own sphere. And not because their conversation got me thinking about nature and technology but because I suddenly realized why I felt uncomfortable. They were acting their own lives! Everyone was trying to convince everyone else that yes! I am smart, I know how to communicate with others, I know what to say! I have an opinion, listen to me! I know it all!
And it felt fake. Their laughter was not real, it was fake. Their opinions were not real, they read it somewhere and adapted it as their own. Instead of saying "You will not believe what happened to me the other day" they said "I recently read".

It's really hard to write down what's on my mind and I might not have been able to make it all clear to you but I sure hope you understand it nonetheless. And if it all doesn't make sense to you at all, I'm sorry. But hey! I'm plastic and I get lost in details!