spiders

I don't like spiders! Yes, I know, most people don't and I bet there are humans out there who dislike them even more. After all, I am not arachnophobic.
It is often said that the way spiders move is what freaks us out. And yes, that is part of it. But what always gets me is: When I see a spider I imagine a close-up shot of their round body being smashed and all their slimy insides exude. Sometimes I fear that they explode when I pass them. I know they won't do that but just the thought of it....
Despite my general dislike I let the smaller ones live inside my house. I heard they eat mosquitos. Well, let me tell you, they don't! I had to hunt down most of the mosquitos myself last summer. I even found some hiding behind spider webs (safely guarded of course).
I tried to remove a spider that fell in the *too big to live with me category* from my house once, which took me almost an hour. Boy, did I feel proud after that! I even called a friend of mine in the middle of the night to tell him about my success. Only to find out that this little bugger had been waiting outside the front door all night. As soon as I opened the door the next morning it hurried back inside! I was so mad that i kicked it out again immediately. I don't know if it survived but I really didn't care.
pixel provided me with an interesting link about spiders. Go there to read more about arachnids or continue reading my post to find out how spiders mess up my dreams at night.

My all-time favourite spider-nightmare

I am visiting some friends who live in an old farmhouse in the countryside. A strange looking forest is located right next to the barn. In fact, the entire setting is somewhat magical. Therefore, I am not surprised to find an undefined baby animal inside the barn which I can understand without the need of words.
It got lost while playing and can't find its way back home. Poor thing! And although I've been warned not to enter the forest I go. After all, it's a lost baby animal (and I can understand what it's saying!) and, really, what is the worst that can happen?
So I bring the little one back home safely and return with that "Ha! See? Nothing happened." feeling.
As I enter the house, everyone looks at me, moves in slow motion, stops talking.
One of my friends moves up to me saying "You've been to the forest" and while I still wonder how he can possibly know he asks me to turn around and lifts up my shirt. I can hear everyone going "Oh no!" "Holy shit!" but since they are looking at my back I have no idea what's wrong. It sounds bad, though.
So, my friend starts explaining:
A very unusual sort of spider (next to other very unusual creatures) lives in that forest. In order to raise their babies they crawl up human legs all the way up to your shoulder-blade (they prefer the right one) dig a rather big hole shaped like a coffin in your flesh, which for some reason doesn't hurt nor bleed and put their babies in there. Your body, as the little ones grow, becomes a food source for them. The entire *coffin* is of a glowing blue color, the spiders are more or less white.
I am beginning to panic because I obviously can't get away from what's harming me. "We need to remove them" "No kidding!" I am begging for a general anesthetic just to find out that No! I can't have it. The spider babies would instinctively know what is going on and they would start crawling further inside my body. Just wonderful! So I end up drinking an entire bottle of Vodka while my friend goes into the kitchen to find his sharpest and biggest knife.
The last thing I remember before waking up is the pain in my right shoulder-blade.
Have I mentioned that I really don't like spiders?!

Here is a Calvin and Hobbes quote that is not only my favourite but also makes a perfect ending to my spider-nightmare-post:

"At night my mind does not much care
If what it thinks is here or there.
It tells me stories it invents
And makes up things that don't make sense.
I don't know why it does this stuff.
The real world seems quite weird enough."

Mina, February 27, 2003 12:29 PM